Man vs. Mole: The Release

In the last installment of Man vs. Mole the Mole Hunter had prevailed and captured two moles which, after a day or so of mole patrol, we determined were the only culprits on our premises. Friday found us trekking up the street with our mole containment unit to some vacant lots and trails that lead to our local beach, where we released our new furry pals in a nicely damp and wormy-looking patch of dirt. I was proud of my Mole Hunter for finding a non-lethal method of ridding ourselves of the cute, but pesky, varmints. Alas, after some follow-up mole patrol yesterday, the MH informed me that there were signs of activity in the front yard. So the Mole Hunter is back on the job.

Now on to another topic entirely, but one of my favorites, books. I am a librarian by trade - probably one by birth really - and possibly emerged from the womb waving a book and begging someone to read to me. I have recently been culling my book collection, since it would likely sink the boat, and it is proving to be a painful process. Amputees often feel phantom limbs and I wonder if I will experience phantom books from now on? I have joined a book blogs group, and have actually been friended by a few people, so I'm thinking maybe I should actually start mentioning some books in this here blog. My life of late hasn't allowed for much lounging about with book in one hand and bonbons in the other but I have been rereading a recent favorite of mine, Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. There aren't many books that I will read more than once but his laugh-out-loud style always brings me back for more. Sedaris is also known for his commentary on NPR's This American Life and Me Talk Pretty One Day was on the bestseller list for, well, a long time or, at least, quite a while. Nothing all that exciting happens in Sedaris' books but his wry humor and sarcasm can make a walk to the mailbox entertaining. One of my favorite quotes from MTPOD (on growing up gay):

When asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, we hid the truth and listed the people we wanted to sleep with when we grew up. "A policeman or a fireman or one of those guys who works with high tension wires."

Surprisingly, I find that I am laughing just as much as I did the first time I read this personal treasure. So, if you haven't given David Sedaris a try, do your funnybone a favor and pick up one of his books soon. 

Man vs. Mole, Part Deux

The man versus mole saga continues and in this installment man is triumphant! Yes, the great Mole Hunter persevered and has been rewarded with the capture of not one, but two, hostages. We are currently keeping them as pets, and as a warning to any remaining family members, in our specially purposed pet mole containment unit.


We plan to implement a mole catch and release program, but not until we are certain all moles have either been captured or have vacated the premises upon seeing the fates of their kinmoles. Currently, we are keeping a steady supply of worms in the mole cooler and they seem to be content enough. The cat isn't allowed into the bedroom but the moles slumbered next to us on the floor last night in their cooler by the bed. I am an animal lover in the extreme, except for anything with more than six legs, and am a worrywort to boot, so I am worried that the moles might not survive their captivity. When I got up this morning I lifted the lid to the mole cooler and one of them was actually lying completely still on top of the dirt. He was so cute and furry and I was afraid we had lost him. Brian, with his usual blithe certitude, assured me the little guy was fine and, sure enough, when I checked later he had burrowed back into the dirt.

So the Mole Hunter has emerged victorious but continues his mole patrols today to make sure all offenders have been apprehended.


Aren't they cute? And, in case you didn't know, moles have very, very soft fur. You should definitely pet one if you ever get the chance.

Did you know?

Moles can dig up to 18 feet of surface tunnels per hour?

Moles can travel through their tunnels at speeds of 80' per minute through existing tunnels? It'd take a mighty good radar detector to give him a ticket.

A large collection of mole burrows is called a citadel? Isn't that charming?

A mole travels through its citadel of tunnels using a movement similar to the breaststroke.

Moles eat 70 to 80 percent of their weight every day.

Moles can be dangerous? They have apparently caused at least one famous death, that of King William III (William of Orange). Granted, I found this information online, but seemingly reputable sources say that the unfortunate William died after being thrown from his horse, which had stumbled over...you guessed it...a mole hill.

The star nose mole is perhaps one of the strangest animals I've ever seen...brace yourself...